My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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