You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
