i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
