I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
