the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
