i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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