in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
