I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize