At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
