wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
