I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize