And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
