U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
