Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize