Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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