Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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