I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
