just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
