Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
