You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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