Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize