I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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