found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
