Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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