I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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