you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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