He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
