Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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