I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
