it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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