I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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