Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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