I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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