bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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