dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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