upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize