Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize