Don't you send me to vm
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
