he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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