Jerry, you need to find god
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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