It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
