It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
