I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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