You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
