meet me or not, i'm out of control
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
