I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
