Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
