Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
