for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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