what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
