I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We need to get me chipped asap
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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