wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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