holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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