My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
