so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
