Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
