Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
why didn't you poke me back
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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