Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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