recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
