opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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