marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
